Ever been at the mercy of someone showing you an unsolicited video? Or maybe you've been on a plane and witnessed someone taking their shoes AND 🧦 off?
This week I'm airing these champagne problems and more in a short but hearty episode, the 9th round of #ThingsThatBug. This segment never ceases getting juicier with time.
I'm not just sassing it up, though! Also tune in for:
PLUS....A steamy new song! Don't miss it ❤️🔥🎵
Links to follow me/subscribe:
Become a Maraschino
Instagram
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Website
Apple
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Ever been at the mercy of someone showing you an unsolicited video? Or maybe you've been on a plane and witnessed someone taking their shoes AND 🧦 off?
This week I'm airing these champagne problems and more in a short but hearty episode, the 9th round of #ThingsThatBug. This segment never ceases getting juicier with time.
I'm not just sassing it up, though! Also tune in for:
PLUS....A steamy new song! Don't miss it ❤️🔥🎵
Links to follow me/subscribe:
Become a Maraschino
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
Youtube
Website
Apple
Spotify
Hey everyone, it's Tiff and welcome back from the Thanksgiving break. I know that I didn't let you know that I would be doing that until that email went out a couple days before, and that's because I had no idea. So I genuinely appreciate your patience with me. I had every intention of dropping an episode last week and then I listened to my body. I paid attention to how overwhelmed I was. I realized that this is my show and I have to do what works for me. I'm a one-woman system here and I needed to step away from all of it, from working on the podcast, from looking at my social media, from everything. And I do feel a lot better. And so, while I don't want to make breaks a habit, I know when they're needed and I really appreciate you, baron, with me. With that said, I hope that everyone had a good week and is excited for December.
Speaker 1:I am someone who has both of my trees up ready. I have a little mini one in my office and I have the one downstairs. Some people are highly against this and are like December 1st robust. I don't give a shit. I think everyone should do what they want to do and stop giving a shit when anyone else does. I guess that'll be my first thing. That bugs today is people who are like you have your tree up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do what's it to you. It's my house. Do what you want in yours, I don't give a shit. With that said, this is things that bug number nine. We're gonna get sassy, it'll still be classy. I have a lot of things to say Before I jump into it.
Speaker 1:I did have a couple people ask if I would be making ornaments this year like I did last year. The answer is no. Due to bandwidth, I have no extra time to bust those out. So if you purchased one last year, you have a collector's item. You may even have a one of a kind kind of piece. So cherish it, love it, cherish it, get it. No pun intended, cherish it. I'm sorry. Hopefully I'll be back next year, but I just cannot. I cannot. But I hope that everyone enjoys this Hollywood season. Hollywood Holy day, oh my God.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's officially start this episode. This is a hot segment. We've been moving, we've been grooving for a while. Think it's time. Things that bug number nine. It's time for things that bug. If you recall that was the new segment sound that Gabe gave me shit for having a solo during. He's like I don't know if it needs a solo and I was like it definitely does. But here we are, things that bug.
Speaker 1:The first one is when someone wants to pull up a video to show me. I literally don't care whatever it is. It's my nightmare to be involved in a conversation with someone and it starts going the direction of have you seen that Tik Tok? Or have you seen that video where? And they go, oh, let me pull it up. Cringe. Butthole is in my stomach I don't want to see. At best send it to me for later. But even that I don't really want, like, if I missed it, I missed it, you know, tell me about it.
Speaker 1:But honestly, tea and shade my husband is the worst offender. People taking their shoes and socks off on the plane Are you kidding me? The fact that I even have to say this? Why aren't you disgusted like I am and I mean in terms of the germs A, b people might have to smell that C there's nothing you can really do. I mean, I'm not someone who's going to say shit, and so I just think it's rude to put everyone else around you in that situation. It's just like people eat hard boiled eggs on planes. People clip their nails on planes Like what are we doing?
Speaker 1:folks? I never want to see your toes, ever. If you're a stranger and I know that I go see toes out from strangers all the time but we're already too close on the plane. It already smells weird. I start thinking of your feet sweating hair. I don't know, it's too much. Put your fucking shoes on, absolutely not. But I'm also not gonna risk going to crazy town on this plane by saying something this one's kind of petty, but it's fucking true.
Speaker 1:When your friends never like your photos on Instagram but they like every influencer, they follow those photos. I'm like, oh, you give a shit what Kim Kardashian is doing, but you can't be out here supporting my podcast, like what the fuck? People you don't even know his pictures, but not your friends. If it comes up in my algorithm and you're my friend, I'm really trying to like it. I just don't understand and that's petty and I'm sorry and I know that people have the right to like whatever the hell they want, but this is things that bug the place where we air things that are dumb but annoying. Also on social media. It bugs that my platform can't be private because I want more and more listeners to find me, etc. But there are people out there able to look at my profile, but I'm not able to see theirs, my haters, my creepers If you are gonna look at my shit, I should be able to look at your shit. Or people who leave mean comments and then they're private. It's like half the guts, man. I like things to go both ways, but I don't get to control this one either.
Speaker 1:Next, walking into spider webs. Is there anything worse? Okay, there's a lot worse, but it's so unexpected Like I think immediately a spider is in my hair or trapped in my clothes and it's having babies or it's biting me and it's gonna live in my ears. I saw a tiktok the other day, a woman showing that a spider had crawled in her ear While she was sleeping and it was there for like three days and then it came out at the doctor and it was like crawling on the floor and I literally bought earplugs and have been sleeping with them because I'm paranoid now that that's gonna happen. So, anyway, there's this spot in our backyard where this spider keeps making this web and I keep taking it down because I'm like this can't be your home, like this is the major walkway, like I can't do this with you every day. It keeps bringing it back and I just I don't know. It really bums me out and it scares me, and I know they're just trying to survive on this Planet too. So I'm sorry to you, mr Spider, for messing with your house. I get why you would hate me. For sure.
Speaker 1:People who are always busier than you flex in their busyness just every time you talk to them. They're like how are you doing? And I'm like all right, no, yeah, I'm fucking busy, I'm crazy busy. But I stay busy night and day, like there is no stop to this grinding, and I'm like didn't you just ask how I'm doing? There's talking and then there's weird competing and there's people who just thrive off of being busy and having everyone around them know that they're busy. It's like if you need this trophy, you can have it.
Speaker 1:Ordering a drink from the bar oh, I hate it. Like a crowded bar, you have to like squeeze in there, try to make eye contact. You do? They seem to be ignoring you. You're like okay, great, now what do I do? It's not even their fault. They're just busy too.
Speaker 1:I'm not a pushy person. I don't like to squeeze into crevices. I would much rather be sitting at a socially appropriately distanced table from other people and a waiter comes up and asks hey, what do you want? This is why I make reservations everywhere I go, because I don't want to be in that position. And if we are in that position, I'll just send Gabe up and be like I'll stand over here. I can't even enter that monstrosity of a mosh pit. Plus the power dynamic in my head between me and the bartender. It's just too much. I'll be over here or I'll go to a different place that has no line, even if it's trash. And then, if they do come up to you, you tell them and they're like what? You're like I'm out of control. They're like what? And it's like oh my god, we're gonna have to make out for you to hear what I'm saying. Let's just skip it. Let's just skip it. Let's not forget that I was a bartender and I also hated it. From the other side too. I didn't enjoy it. That's just me.
Speaker 1:This is one I don't think I've ever said, and I do think it's very common. But when people rev their engines out in public, you're just sitting on a bench Enjoying the breeze on your face and all of a sudden it's like, and it's like okay, why did we all need to know you're there, you're driving, I see you. Hi, hello, I don't want to be skirt. Okay, there's no reason for that, unless you're in. What is it called? The one that they're all racing f1, unless you're a Jeff Fox worthy or whoever used to race, which is NASCAR, I think. Go home and quietly Editing tiff. Here I definitely meant Jeff Gordon. Okay, back to the show. Oh, this one I've definitely said, but needs to be said for the fucking people in the back dogs off leash when they're not in their own house or backyard. Okay, I'm not even gonna get started because I'm already getting heated.
Speaker 1:Another thing that bugs Ted lasso. I said it, I said it. I didn't like it, and the fact that everyone hates that I didn't like it bugs me even more. Okay, different strokes, different folks. My husband loves it. I can't stand it. Sue me Fucking, sue me hecklers.
Speaker 1:I go to a lot of comedy shows and they think this is their moment. They're time to shine. Nobody wants it. Come for the show or bust. If you want to be up here with the mic, do the work. It takes.
Speaker 1:Okay, littering. Are we still doing this? We are, knock it off. We know how bad it is and people just still continue to not give a lick. There's just trash everywhere on this earth. So much trash. Shame on you if you're still dropping it around.
Speaker 1:This is a really niche one. But me being so anal about getting my Christmas and holiday shopping done early that I missed amazing Black Friday deals on the same things I bought anyway and paid double the price on many, many items Just because I didn't think about it couldn't wait. This happens to me every single year. Yeah, don't that. I don't that. I'm damn. Morning breath. We all have it, but it's gross. Personally, strangers you know.
Speaker 1:When you're like walking through just a Starbucks and it's morning time and like everyone's in there, it's that smell in the air before 10 am. That's just people's breath accumulated together in one big cloud and it smells like coffee and farts and root beer and like wet moss in a forest and I think they might have already brushed their teeth Like that's the tea and it still smells like that. And I'm not trying to be rude, I swear I'm not gonna say anything to any of these people, it's just something I've noticed. Lackluster burritos Can we just agree? They're sad when they're small and there's not much in them. Like you're excited for a fat, juicy burrito and it comes and it's just like flopping to the side, it's like dripping out. There's nothing really in it. It's like, hmm, what a bummer.
Speaker 1:Whenever you find yourself in a situation where people are genuinely arguing in front of you, it's another one of those things that we maybe have all done, but it's so awkward and no one knows what to do and it definitely makes everyone around you uncomfortable. There's like casual bickering, classic things that we all do as humans. But then there's like serious stuff that you realize you should not be a part of and don't want to be and shouldn't be exposed to, you know. So I don't know though Maybe that's a personal thing in like how much conflict you were exposed to as a child and stuff. Times like you're coping skills in bandwidth I don't know, I don't know what I'm saying Eating at any point without access to a napkin or a sink to wash your hands, like literally, if I don't have one of those things, I don't know if I even want to eat. Okay, that's traumatic.
Speaker 1:That's not true but you know, when you're eating something, you're really enjoying it. And then you realize, oh, my hands are a little dirty. And you're looking around You're like, oh my God, there's no access to anything. How did this happen? The only thing you're going to use is your fingers licky, licky, or your pants wipey, wipey, but then you're sticky, icky when people come at me hot and, honestly, when I come at people hot, it greatly disappoints me when I do it, because I know how painful it is. Just give me the benefit of the doubt. Let's talk like humans. I don't like it. It all leads to me shutting down and feeling unsafe, but I will feel very protective of myself too, and that's some inner child shit.
Speaker 1:Trolls this is an interesting take that I was thinking about the other day. I don't know if anyone's seen the escaping twin flames documentary, but after I watched it I understood the urge to want to troll someone. Like I found the leaders of this cult's Instagram and I was like I'm going to write them and I'm going to say mean stuff. And I stopped myself and I'm like what, what is the point to hurt them? Yes, okay, we're not going to do that. It actually doesn't do anything. It ultimately won't fix anything. It won't make me feel better. There are other ways to stand with the cause, against them or to disagree with them, but this is the difference Someone who doesn't have that moment, that pause where they go. Oh wait, I get that. I'm having these big feelings and wanting to do something because I'm feeling hurt or hurt that other people are getting hurt, but the answer is not hurt people hurting people. And so the other day, when I got the little baby urge to troll, I was like, oh my God, like this is how it happens and it's interesting to think about. And I feel bad because back in the day I remember I did troll Selena Gomez. I made a mean comment on one of her Instagram posts and her fans fucking came for me and I was like arguing back and forth with them. And I think about that now and I'm like God, that's so embarrassing, like why, who the fuck did I think I was, I was jealous of her, I was wanting her to feel bad. So what? I could feel better about being my shitty self, glad for growth, I'm glad for awareness, and it's just another reminder that there are people hurting fucking everywhere, and when they get behind their little phones and screens. They think they're brave, but it's not brave to attack someone online.
Speaker 1:An unexpected musical number in a movie. If I didn't sign up for a musical, I don't want to be in for the surprise of a lifetime Absolutely not. People might find this surprising. Not a big musical guy, not at all. When people get mad that they're not invited to something, I'm guilty of it too, but I have to check myself.
Speaker 1:I don't want everyone at everything, so why would they? People are allowed to do what they do, folks. That is the theme, the thread that is carrying us through to the end. Let people do what they want to do, because they have their reasons and it's not personal. Just people doing the dishes and then leaving the sink gross with like extra food left over. It's not drained or disposed. There's just kind of a stank going around like please just wrap it up, just take the extra few seconds to clean that, because it does snowball so fast into a swamp. And who needs that?
Speaker 1:A pillow fight I've never liked a pillow fight. They kind of hurt people, get crazy. And why would anyone like their head being smacked? You know I've always wondered how that's fun or sexy. You know people almost pin it as this, like hot things that girls do at sleepovers. We weren't doing that. We were talking about how to shave our legs and if you've used a tampon yet, okay, this next one that bugs, I'm gonna get vulnerable with you all. It's something on my body and I don't need you to be like tough. Tough, no, not that, never, I see it, I know, okay. I just hate that I have like a turkey gobble. My chin isn't a distinct chin or jaw line. That's all. Editing Tiff here I apparently meant a turkey waddle, not a gobble. Makes a lot of sense when I think about it. Okay, bye Running into people unexpectedly that you know out and about.
Speaker 1:I hate that. It only happens when I go home to my hometown. But there's nothing worse than you're just looking through an office and they go, oh my God, and you're like, fuck, who is it gonna be? Never someone you want to see, ever. And now it's starting to happen where I live and I'm like, oh no, I've been here too long. Gotta get out, gotta get moving. I'm like a vampire. They're starting to tell that I'm 19 for the fifth year in the row. Does anyone else, if you know? You know this one is another petty one, but it's the truth.
Speaker 1:People not listening to my podcast A, I think more people should, but B it's when they say to me like I haven't listened but I should, and it's like just say nothing In my head. You listen when you're a guest to an event and you have a friend who's also a guest. They're not hosting, they're just a guest and you guys are both going to this and they ask you for gift ideas. Now, bitch, work harder. I did it. I figured out what to get this person you figure out. Now you can't come on my card. First of all, they usually have a registry and, second of all, you don't know them well enough to know a single thing they'd like. Why is your problem now on my plate? Do I help my husband by presence for other people? Sure, but do I want to do it for everyone in my life? No, also, you're not going to take credit for my fire idea that I put thought into. Absolutely not. That's when you say no.
Speaker 1:Is anyone else noticing that my voice? When I get super irritated about something, I go, I go high. I don't like that. Next, I delete my texts. I do that because I like to know a conversation is done. It stresses me out to have them there. I have everything started from zero by the end of the day, even with my husband. I just delete them, I move on and sometimes when I tell people about this they're like you're hiding something.
Speaker 1:I'm not. It's the reason I just said and I have no insecurity about it, and I don't know why you do either. With that said, it's sad because I can't go back to things and I won't be able to when people pass away and things like that, but also because everyone has free will and just like I'm allowed to delete them, people are allowed to save them. This means I'm sometimes behind the curve. Other people in my life that don't delete their texts can go back and read all these things we've said and remember idiosyncrasies of things that I don't. I don't even know. Tiff five minutes ago, who is she, what she said, I don't know. And I've moved on. I don't want to resonate there and read old things, and maybe that's wrong, but I hate in that way that someone has like a cheat code book that I don't anymore and might remember me in a way that isn't even me. Yet I chose to throw this cheat code away, because do we even need the cheat codes? What am I talking about Next?
Speaker 1:Pimples, zits, whatever you call them on the upper lip or like right where the nose hole is. You know, those are so painful, can we all agree? And they bug because they're embarrassing. It's hard to cover them. They refuel. Yeah, crazy how packed the schedule gets at the holidays every time, no matter how much you try to avoid it. It's just like a thing and another thing.
Speaker 1:Another thing you're like I guess in the new year I'll chill, you know, when people leave their dog poo on my lawn and this happens almost Daily at this point and it's so annoying because I already pick up my dogs every single day. Okay, because that's what you're supposed to do. I don't also want to pick up yours, and it's fun and exciting every time. Sometimes it's small, sometimes it's big, and we have a camera on our porch. So I've tried to catch them, but I keep missing them. And then, even if I do what I'm gonna do, go figure out which house they live in and knock on the door. I'm like, hey, I've studied the footage, I know what you're doing. Knock it. Okay, maybe some people would do that. I'm scared, I'm too scared.
Speaker 1:I'm just gonna complain about it here to you, on things that bug you know, and also, I encourage you, let me know things that have been bugging you, because I want this to be a place where, yeah, they might not be the biggest deal, but they're still your problems, you know. With all this said, I'm blessed that these are my problems. None of them are serious, none of them are coming for anybody. I will end on a happy note. Just drop some things I love real quick a bidet, harper snuggles, rain hitting a surface Whether that be a roof, a window, my face Overcast stays. A good hair day, a compliment from a stranger, a hug from someone I love, a candle, a blanket and a good movie, oh, and a snack. So, yeah, I'm just gonna end there. This has been things that bug. Number 9, 9, 9. I hope you enjoyed.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we thought the episode was over, but nope, I'm coming in with the surprise. I'm dropping a new song. This is an old poem I wrote turned into a song, and I wasn't originally gonna ever share it on the podcast because it's a little bit Super vulnerable and I feel like sometimes I already put enough of myself out there and I just don't want anyone to Make fun of me, but also fuck them if they do. If I can't even myself here, what am I doing? So this is called song for you, written about an old flame in another time, and if you're on the email list, you'll have the lyrics. Enjoy You're.
Speaker 2:You want me so much it hurts away. You're making me question over there. When it comes to me, you'll always be your curse. You, your lips trace a little closer every run around me saying we'd so turn. Never felt like I was really safe here. Please tell me where is my place here? I'm bleeding. You don't even see me always fighting, no coming ground between Between, fell silent when I said I love you. Ten years later you say you meant me to the Love you again. I don't know why you couldn't even be a friend, cry here, lie there, say good, nothings in the air. Do you remember that night? I've never felt more alive. Your hand, I want you so much. I know I'm more than you do. Sir, when it comes to you, always you can resist. My First. You want me so much it hurts. No one, the best girl you find on this earth. And it comes to me, you'll always feel cursed. I'm so glad I learned how to love me again. It's not good and it's not bad, but it is truly the end.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's no secret, I'm not the best singer in the world, but I write from my heart, I put myself out there and I'm doing me. So, yeah, next week we have on two more friends that you haven't met yet that we go on double dates with, so it's gonna be four people and stew and so much fun. Plus lots of good stuff left this season some best of episodes and other surprise guests. I'm not gonna drop yet so straight soon. Now let's get into your cup of Tee-hee-hee.
Speaker 1:Follow my podcast wherever you listen to them, wherever that be Apple Podcasts, spotify wherever you listen to them. Like and follow me on Facebook, instagram, tiktok and YouTube right in the review on Facebook, apple Podcasts and Spotify. Join my email list by going to my website or reaching out to me directly. My website is wwwheyroanditstiffbusbrowcom. Share this show with your friends. Let them know about it. Let's take over the world. Go viral. If you will, merch, let me know if you want any. They make great gifts for this holiday season and these shirts last forever. I'm wearing one right now that I've had for years. Support a small business this year. Why not Merch, merch, merch, merch All in my highlight reel on Instagram. Submit your questions for the next Get to Know Me episode. There will be one more for the end of this season. So drop them in. Drop them in. A couple people have recently. I appreciate you, I love you, thank you and finally, subscribe to my show by becoming a Mer Mer she Know DJ Selfish, doot, doot.
Speaker 2:I really appreciate you. Then you came in and you took it a step further, something you didn't have to do. You spoke to my podcast and it means so much to me. Mer Mer she Know. Some of my favorite people just helping me live my dream. Mer Mer she Know. Mer Mer she Know.
Speaker 1:I love you. So when you become Mer she Know, you're saying hey, thanks for the show. I appreciate everything you do and I'm going to give you a little monetary tip once a month. Love it, thank you so much. You can cancel it anytime. There's no commitment. The link to join is in my email show notes and on my website, and you can set the dollar amount to anything you want to be. So shout out to my Mer she Know's. I love you all and I hope that you feel good being a part of this community. A lot of you are even coming up on one year very soon, in a few months. That's huge, that's crazy, and the fact that my podcast even has this kind of support in this way is a big, big deal. So thank you to my Mer she Know. Shout out Gabe, victor, gabby, alana, marie, rachel, holly, airelyn. If you want to join, let me know. Alright, folks, we're back, we're moving. Have a good week. Next week's going to be fun. We're having tacos and margaritas before we record, so who knows what will happen? Bye.