Hey Everyone, It's Tiff
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Hey everyone, It's Tiff! This show can be described as the most fascinating people in my life discussing the complexities that come with being human. From interviews with my bikini waxer to father-in-law, episodes span the spectrum of light-hearted and fun, to heavy and thought-provoking.
Life is weird and sometimes hurts. This pod was designed to cultivate a space where we can be honest about this and hopefully feel less alone. I believe it's okay to not have all the answers, to be overwhelmed by all the things, and to be figuring out who you are until the day you die.
If this sounds like something you're down with, you just might be a cherry!
Whether listeners tune in to learn, to laugh, or to ponder - my only goal is to bring some sunshine to their week. Tune in for wild recurring segments, tons of original songs, and all of the TMI. Thank you for listening!
Hey Everyone, It's Tiff
Marri's Outside Your Box
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A new era, a familiar guest, an array of delicious topics – Season 5 is kicking off with a bang! Waxing expert Marri is back, vulnerably sharing her incredible journey
within the beauty industry and beyond.
But there’s more to life than business – which is why this season we're diving even deeper into the human side of our guest's stories. Listen as Marri opens up about her personal experience with sobriety and recovery, shedding light on a 15-year road still in progress. There's so much to be learned from the challenges and triumphs that shape who we are.
Laugh with us as we delve into:
- Friendship breakups
- Being put on the spot
- Why your landing strip won't land
- Acknowledging when it's time to slow down
- Falling in love
- Sitting with discomfort
- Unexpected feedback and the misconceptions she's received
- Starting her own podcast
We're only getting started so settle in for a season that's honest, heartwarming, and full of evolving insights you won't want to miss!
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Music this is on the beat .
Speaker 2Hey , everyone , it's Tiff . Hi , everyone , it's Tiff . Hi , everyone , it's Tiff again . Hi , everyone , it's Tiff . Hey guys , it's Tiff . Long time no shoot . Hi , everyone , it's Tiff . It's Tiff . And it's time to sing another song . Hi , everyone , it's Tiff . Hi , everyone , it's Tiff . Hey , everyone , it's Tiff . And , as you can see , I went for a natural makeup look today . Hey , music . Hey , everyone , it's Tiff . Woo , we are back , baby , I've missed you .
Speaker 2Welcome to season 5 , welcome to the roller coaster . If this was a roller coaster , you're on the part where you're kind of going upwards and the little links in the tracks like Dee , dee , dee , dee , dee , dee , and this is where the adrenaline is all kind of rushing . You're at the beginning of the ride . You're fucking pumped . You don't know what's gonna happen in the next two minutes , but you're down . Turn that two minutes into 20 episodes and you have season 5 . Boo yah , who the hell still says that ? Ew , I'm fully disgusted with myself . We'll move right along , the first of which being we can't start this show without wings . You know , when it's the beginning and end of a season , I like to do my favor when it's Tiff jingle , but we also have to do what we do so . Here it is the sound you hopefully missed , wings .
Speaker 2I really enjoyed the break . Thanks for giving me the space , the grace , to do so . At the same time , I'm happy to be back . Did I stop doing all things podcast on the break ? No , did I also take good time to balance and take care of myself ? Yes , so do I feel recharged , rested , ready to go right now ? Apps of fucking Lutely . We're shooting clips differently , which you'll see A lot higher quality . We are batching episodes and recording things in advance , but still , this is a one woman show and I'm just moving and grooving the best I can . For those who don't know what this show is about , hey , everyone , it's Tiff , a talk show with everyday people who are the most authentic . I want to get into our guests pretty quickly here Because , let's not lie , that's what you're here for . But before I do that , let me first just hit you with a rapid fire On what I've been up to , cherries . Since I've been gone .
Speaker 2Went to a live podcast show . I designed my new studio , helped throw a retirement party for my father-in-law , did a lot of work on the backyard , learned to embroider , which has been fun . I almost gave up because I was having a really hard time with it At the beginning . And look at us now . I went to a cocktail competition , I went to the cabin , I celebrated mine and a lot of friends' birthdays . I listened to a lot of my old episodes and they're intense as fuck .
Speaker 2In season 5 , I think the vibe is that we're gonna head in a lighter direction overall , while keeping the same themes of mental health , being vulnerable , challenging yourself to grow , real shit . But there was a lot of stuff I felt like I needed to get out at the beginning Of the show that I'm still proud of and still belongs there . But I do think that now we can kind of take a different direction when we focus more on guests and fun and kind of meshing all of that all together . Not that we weren't before , but you kind of know what I'm saying , okay , okay , I'll put pictures of some of the things I've been doing in the email for this week , but other than that , we needed it , we wanted it . It's here . So , without further ado , give it up for Mary's triumphant return . Hey everyone , it's Mary Woo . She's back . Oh my gosh , welcome to the new stew Thank you
Speaker 3thank you for inviting me back again . I'm so excited .
Speaker 2Oh my gosh , how could I not ? First of all , you are still one of my most popular episodes .
Speaker 3Oh , well , that is I love that it makes me happy .
Speaker 2Yes , Waxing .
Speaker 3You know , waxing is a fun topic .
Speaker 2It is , and I had a lot of people who have never done it before that were like I can't believe how much I got out of that . Yeah , they were just like wow , it's so intricate , there's so much to it , and a few people were like I think I'm gonna go for it and I was like you should .
Speaker 3That's the feedback I got as well . Yeah , yeah , thank you I loved it .
Speaker 2It's because you were so open . Also , I need to comment you look stunning today .
Speaker 3Well , thank you . That's all courtesy of Alex Tawny . I'm the best makeup and hair artist of Sonoma County and the whole world . Yes , yes .
Speaker 2So thank you . Stunning , you look stunning all the time . I'm sure you hear that a lot .
Speaker 3No , no , only when he's had his way with me . No no , no , no no no , no , no .
Speaker 2And how have you been ? What's new with life and the business ?
Speaker 3Business is amazing . The last time I was here , I think we had just opened up a bit after the pandemic .
Speaker 2Yeah , Feb 2022 .
Speaker 3Okay . So yeah , business has been booming . This summer has been next level . This month is the first month since we reopened that I've actually taken it a little easy because it's just been such a grind kind of rebuilding and I feel like I'm finally comfortable where I am . So I'm starting to just give myself a little bit of grace . You know I'm still working seven days , but this month I'm just not taking on too many new people . Okay , so you're full , I'm full , Got it , I'm full . I'm always looking for new people and I will start September , take more , but as of right now , I'm just I don't have a lot to give . Yeah , my social battery is full . Yeah , or low .
Speaker 3No , no , I don't know .
Speaker 2I don't know , I'm tired . Totally makes sense and great that you know that you're at capacity .
Speaker 3I'm at capacity . Yeah , mentally and emotionally , and I really like to give my clients 100% of me , and so I don't want to cheat anybody out of that . So just taking a little break .
Speaker 2Love that for you love that for you seven days a week .
Speaker 3It's a lot . It's a lot .
Speaker 2It's a lot of vagina . I mean it's a lot of vagina . It's a lot of vagina .
Speaker 3It's a lot of vagina , but it's also a lot of amazing relationships . True .
Speaker 2Do you ever get sick of vagina ? No , okay , no , there's not one too many , one too far .
Speaker 3Not really . I mean some of the more challenging ones . I'll look on my book and be like , oh okay , that's gonna be a little back breaking .
Speaker 2Oh no .
Speaker 3I was like , oh , it's a joy to get to see everyone too , yeah , they're all facets head to toe .
Speaker 2And what is your favorite part of the day If you're working seven days a week ? Is it when you're at work ? Is it your morning ? Is it after work ? What does that look like for ?
Speaker 3you , you know what . My whole day is really the favorite part of my day .
Speaker 3I'm gonna feel really blessed , like I always start my day with a workout , so that sets the tone of my day and that is honestly kind of my merry time . That's the one time I'm out of the hamster wheel up here , yeah , so , and then getting to go to work . I don't have to go to work , I get to go to work . That narrative has just I'm so blessed and I am blessed to do what I love every day . Yeah , and again , the waxing the vagina . That whole scenario is like one piece of it , less like 10% of it , but the rest of it is just having these relationships with women in our community that are so amazing . It's literally like hanging out with my friends all day , getting paid for it .
Speaker 2It seems so fun .
Speaker 3It's amazing . My day is usually out eating with friends or doing 12 step meeting with friends or just hanging out with the people that I choose to spend my time with .
Speaker 2Yeah , you continue the fun .
Speaker 3I continue the fun and there are days that again my social battery were done and I just go home and put on either a Hallmark channel , or can . I say that , yes , the ID channel Sponsor , else I go either , or it's either like happy ending or somebody is dead , depending on your vibes .
Speaker 2So , depending on my vibes , love that , and how do you have so many friends ?
Speaker 3You know well , a lot of it is 12 step program . People I've met through the last 15 years in there which is a blessing very like-minded people and we kind of speak our own language .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's like you don't even have to explain it .
Speaker 3No , it's really cool . And then I have moving back here . I've got some friends that , like , I grew up with or knew in high school a handful of those and then also some of my clients have turned into some of my best friends . Yes , they're crazy , like I never would have thought and I mean it's so neat . I get invited to their baby showers , their weddings , like a bachelorette party , as if you saw a social media last night . Yes , so fun . Yeah , so just it's kind of a different gamut . And honestly , before you know , I got into recovery . You know I was not a good friend , so recovery has really taught me how to be a good friend , because I was not a good friend and so I'm always a work in process and I've made my fair share of mistakes . But you know , the good ones come and I've been through some friend breakups and those are devastating and they all are .
Speaker 2They are . We don't give enough .
Speaker 3We're painful , but I always find it . You know . I'm grateful in the end for the lessons that I learned .
Speaker 2Yeah , 1000% , 1000% .
Speaker 3I feel like we always talk about romantic relationships but friend breakups Well they're worse than the romantic ones , because we're so like intimate and vulnerable with our female friends that it's really like devastating .
Speaker 2And that when they decide like no , I just don't want to be around you anymore , or you just , it's just , it is , it's a big deal , it's a huge deal and , yeah , it really isn't talked about a lot , it's not . It's not . It's like not socially okay to be sad about it or whatever . Oh , my god , I'm going through that at this time . But yeah , I just see all these good people around you and I think that it's beautiful and it must be nice .
Speaker 3I'm so blessed and that is honestly one of my favorite things again about recovery is the people that I have met along the way the best ?
Speaker 2part .
Speaker 3Yeah , the best part it's really . I'm always so grateful for the people in my life , totally , and it is it's a blessing , because I've spent a lot of my life very , very lonely and I have to work still at not isolating and being lonely , because that is by nature .
Speaker 2That's good for people to hear too , because it looks so easy on social media .
Speaker 3Believe you , me , I guarantee you , I would rather be on the couch after work , watching the ID channel or Hallmark the company , yeah , and getting my ass out . So it isn't easy , it's not comfortable . I fight and scream my way out the door , but as soon as I get there I am so happy .
Speaker 2It's so worth it that I did that , yep , and is that what keeps you going back ? Is that feeling yeah ?
Speaker 3Yeah , and just showing up for people , yeah , because , again , you know there was a lot of my life where I showed up for myself only and not for other people . So it's a true gift to show up for other people and then I get so much back out of that Again , learning to be a good friend and being part of Right , because I always have the option to stay home and stay lonely and isolated . That option is there , it's always there , that's a dangerous place for an alcoholic to be .
Speaker 2Totally makes sense and I can imagine and I don't think we talked about it that much the first podcast , but you've now just celebrated your 15th year , sober . Yes , first of all , that's a huge deal . How does one do that ? And I don't want to get too personal if you don't want to , but anything you want to share about that journey , what it's been like for you , how you keep going .
Speaker 3Yeah , it was a really hard journey and some days are still really hard 15 years in . And it's interesting because I have somebody very , very close to me that is three weeks into clean and sober . That I never thought would get clean and sober and it's been interesting in the way that it's not triggering for me like seeing and hearing it , all of it as far as wanting to drink .
Speaker 3But , like to me , it's like all of those like feelings in the beginning of new sobriety , where it's just so uncomfortable and so hard and so unsettling yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . So to me I kind of try to look at it like a gift , like I get to remember what's still out there , because I always think , like that's one of the reasons I'm like I can never go out again because I do not want to go through that first year of recovery because it's so hard , hard yeah , but I mean it's , it's been a journey and I've , you know , I got , I got to rebuild a business , I got to again become a better friend , a better daughter to my dad when he was still here . Yeah , it's been amazing . And , you know , are there days that I miss drinking , of course , and it's not so much the alcohol , it's just that , yeah , escape and that feeling of like I could breathe .
Speaker 2And that's why we do it right . It's not that it tastes so amazing .
Speaker 3Yeah , it did not . I mean , I was a big Purple Hooter fan and those were tasty , I mean the rest of it .
Speaker 3You know , I was the type of alcoholic like I would just buy a handle of vodka and drink it warm , right out of the bottle and chug it because I just wanted to . It wasn't even about getting drunk anymore , it was just about passing out and numbing out . So I did not have to feel anything because I just that's real Didn't know what to do with those feelings . And so now you know , through the last 15 years , it's you know , getting that old tool belt .
Speaker 2Yeah , when those feelings I'm sure still come up . How do you stay clear on your goals when it's fucking it's ?
Speaker 3really , really difficult , and that is the one thing that you know the 12 step program has given me again . Getting back to the friendships yeah , is people to bounce my thoughts off of because , like we say in their first thought , wrong , and it's so true . I mean , my first thought is so out of whack . Even the 15th thought , sometimes , eventually , I can reign it in if I have to , because nobody's answering their phone , true , or there's people in my life that know me and bring it to me in a different angle , and then I'm like , oh , yeah , mind you who you are remind me who I am and what are you know purposes and do I act out still Absolutely Just did couple nights ago .
Speaker 3Yeah , Do I have an amends to make ? Probably will I make it , Maybe I will .
Speaker 2The way you said maybe We'll see .
Speaker 3I feel like X's should not even be in the amends category .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , yeah , it's a whole another level of tricky .
Speaker 3Yeah , so I have a couple people again in my life in active addiction as well and it's just , it's heartbreaking to watch and it's so hard just because I know there's another way to live out there . That's just so much easier .
Speaker 3I mean it's hard , but it's just easier and it's just exhausting . Being an alcoholic is truly exhausting , and a lot of the times when I'm like , you know , I don't want to go to a meeting tonight , I'm just going to sit here . And then my first question to myself is like if I wanted a bottle of alcohol right now , I would have walked fucking 50 miles through the snow Right .
Speaker 2Right , there was no question . There was no question , so the willingness .
Speaker 3The same willingness I had for my disease , I have to have for my recovery , or it just , it just won't work .
Speaker 2God , tee , this is such a real perspective of it , because you're saying I'm not perfect . There are still days where I want to just like literally throw it all away , but I don't because of these reasons . Wow , I just take so much from that and I do want to say that congrats on 15 years , because that is a huge deal . Obsessed with you , and so now I haven't seen you in a long time switching gears , just want to be transparent with the cherries , and that's because I've decided that somewhere it was out of my budget .
Speaker 2Well , first I went through a vagina thing where I had a health issue and I had to have it heal . Then I started shaving again , and if I shave , it's like once every six months . So really , we're rocking . We're rocking full 70s . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , cool . It's very like we're exactly . This is me , and there's a big difference , though Like I miss it . It's something I need to get back to . It's something that I want to make a priority in terms of the budget , and so I'd have no idea what's been going on or anything like that . Can you tell me ?
Speaker 3as far as like is the fun stories .
Speaker 2As far as the vaginas Like what's out there Well , everything's still the same .
Speaker 3Most people are still taking everything off . I mean that's why people usually come to me . I've had a few landing strip requests which you know are not my forte .
Speaker 2Right , right Right .
Speaker 3And there's a lot of things that go into that as well . But it's not just as cut and dry as people think , because hair grows different ways like this , so it's hard to get a straight line or people have . Yeah .
Speaker 3But people are usually pretty nice about it and yeah , so I mean everyone's been pretty well behaved , I haven't had too many crazy things . The two things that do stick out OK , I saw you , please , and these . These both happened midair , with legs like this , and me like down , like literally elbow deep . I had one client ask me if I was ready to have Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and I was like , oh , are you ready , mary ? In that moment , I was not , I was not prepared for that .
Speaker 3And I mean a million things ran through my mind , and , of course , to each their own Right , right Right . I declined the invitation . And the second one , which is my fave this woman asked me if I would be her sponsor . Oh yeah , because in 12 step you have sponsors and sponsors . And I was like , again , knee deep , twist , twist , twist .
Speaker 2Hello yeah .
Speaker 3Yeah , so both things literally stopped me in my track , which doesn't happen often because I've heard a lot . Yeah , a lot . And , but yeah , you just never know . Put on the spot a little bit , put on the spot a little bit , you know , and I did say yes . Yeah , because that's what we do . We say yes when we're asked to be of service .
Speaker 2What would a more appropriate way to have asked that Would that be ?
Speaker 3I mean at a meeting , right , ok , yes , Coffee Literally any other time , literally anywhere but in between your legs .
Speaker 2Situation Like yeah , ok , I mean , still I mean you know , you know , I mean .
Speaker 3I'm a firm believer that the universe , god , whoever you want to talk to you know does speak through people at the right time .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , no , I'm with you .
Speaker 3That was the right time , and I mean you're not going to get much more vulnerable than that .
Speaker 2Yeah , they must feel safe with you as well .
Speaker 3Yeah , so it's actually an honor to be asked to be a sponsor , so yeah , oh yeah , Heck frickin low , that's wild , it's just so intimate .
Speaker 2And people , I guess , in a really safe cozy space , you never know what you thought , I couldn't say no . That really challenges you to like OK . Well , now I'm here , what am I going to do about that ?
Speaker 3Right , yeah , and I mean that's so much of my business .
Speaker 2Right A lot of that .
Speaker 3You know the right thing at the right time .
Speaker 2Oh , and how does one know how to do that ?
Speaker 3Practice , practice . Yeah , I've offended people to the point they don't come back .
Speaker 2And do they tell you in the moment or do you just realize ?
Speaker 3I usually hear it through other people , and then I was like , oh my God , I didn't even mean it like that . Or yeah , no idea , I didn't know it came across like that and I feel awful , but I'm human and fallible .
Speaker 2Right , and it's also OK for people to weed out until you have your client base .
Speaker 3Yes , I mean that's . My most important thing is , I want my clients to feel comfortable and like me , and if they don't , then I absolutely understand , because it is very vulnerable and it's a service , and there's a million of us out there that can .
Speaker 2And I love that you say that . You said that last time too , like if I'm not a good fit or I can not do something that you're interested in , there are a lot of other options out there , and last time I talked to you it was all business , like it was all the nooks and crannies of it , and so I just wanted to leave more space for stories , and I realized that I never asked you last time has anyone ever been aggressive , like , have you ever gotten in not a fight , but like a very high conflict situation ?
Speaker 3The only time that I have and it's been several over the years is when people come in new clients and they're not long enough .
Speaker 2Oh , the hair .
Speaker 3Their hair is not long enough .
Speaker 3So , I basically am refusing to do the service and it does get very heated and very uncomfortable . And yeah , I mean I try to explain about the three growth cycles and this . It normally happens when people have used clippers to clip their hair , because the clippers really do clip the hair at a horrific angle . That's really hard for the wax to get up and you have three cycles , so you've clipped three cycles all the way down to your skin . So I'm trying to have you have a good experience and not go home and shave , which is what people have done when I , when they have talked to me into it , because sometimes people will wear me down , yeah . And the other thing is it's just a waste of money and I'm , I'm , I'm very honest and fair because I treat my clients as I would want to be treated . 100 percent .
Speaker 3And I don't want you to waste your money , but people again I saw on the Internet has to be this song . Here's a picture that says it's going to be this song and if I hear a grain of fucking rice one more time . But that is the only time that people really get angry and confrontational with me .
Speaker 2That makes so much sense , because you know what I want it now , they want it now I'm all about wanting things .
Speaker 3now , that's my nature .
Speaker 2But I love that you're honest .
Speaker 3It doesn't work like that in this situation and quite honestly , it would take me about four times the amount of time which I don't have to give because I booked so close together , because 30 percent of the hair is being picked up by the wax and the other 70 percent is me tweezing every hair and you don't want that .
Speaker 2Folks , either person no . And you know that's interesting because something most people said and feedback to the pod was I want to try it , but I'm so worried about the in between growing out and to me that doesn't bother me at all , but it is an issue for people . It is an issue for people .
Speaker 3And I call those people chronic shavers , people that shave every day or want it smooth every day , which I understand , and I tell them the waxing is not for you because you do have to grow it out . I mean , people will come in with like I can tell exactly when they come in . I'm like that's two days , that's four days and they're like how do you know ? And I'm like because I know . Or day , every day I see this and I'm thinking in my head like what is it like you want me to do ?
Speaker 2Right , I literally and OK . So for people who might not know if you're going regularly to waxing , how long are you going to have to have it be long Like ? What does that look like ? Is it like a 70s bush ? It's never going to get there , right ?
Speaker 3The first time will be the absolute worst . The first grow up , because you need to grow it out as long as you can . I'll settle for three weeks . I prefer four plus .
Speaker 2OK .
Speaker 3That's as long as it's ever going to be , because the whole premise of waxing is coming back finer , thinner and less each time , each time . But it is a process and it is a process to get it smooth in the beginning Because , again , that third cycle is really just , it's problematic . The first three or four waxes . Yeah . So it is a process and I mean that was my really big problem this summer with new clients , because I think since the pandemic's over and there's all these weddings , all these brides wanted to get waxed for the first time . And I'm just a point in my career where if you're going on a big vacation , you're getting married or you have some big event , you're going to try it for the first time .
Speaker 3I'm going to refuse it , it's a no , it's a hard no for me and that was a big fight all summer with clients as well , and I lost a lot of potential clients over it . But I'm OK with that because your skin can have a reaction . Yeah . And that is the last thing you want to do is ruin your wedding night , ruin a big trip you've been planning for and paying for a lot of money . Yeah or a big special event , whatever it is .
Speaker 2And you don't want that on your hands .
Speaker 3You look , I'm good I don't want that on my hands and , more importantly , I don't want that for them , right ? Because that is the last thing . And if you're hell bent on doing it , I gave out several different waxers names this summer . I gave a lot of waxers a lot of business this summer and I am I'm OK with that . I did get a lot of hate from these people and a lot of argument for these people Not understanding .
Speaker 2Are serious .
Speaker 3I explained out and you're good .
Speaker 2I'm good , You're freaking good . So this is a hot tip for you If you do want to start for your wedding , start what ? Six months before .
Speaker 3I like to get at least two under your belt , OK . I'll settle for one .
Speaker 2That's not even that much to ask , not that much to ask and it's just again .
Speaker 3I mean there's one in a million chance you're going to have a reaction , but if you're that one , it's going to bum me out Like I lose sleep over that shit because I want happy clients , your business . Yeah , I want to provide a good service for people and it is a small community and with social media .
Speaker 2People talk .
Speaker 3Word does travel fast .
Speaker 2Yeah , it has a . No one ever threatened Like I'd hate to give a bad review .
Speaker 3Well , that is a funny , very funny waxing story . I went on a match date this was several years ago with a guy and I was very clear in my profile I was looking for a long term relationship . And we met and it was very clear he was looking just to hook up and it was a hard no for me because that's not what I was looking for . And you know he did his beg and pleaded and you know all that business , and I was like no . And then he texted me a few , probably a week or so later and I had not saved him in my phone and so this number came up and asking for a wax . And back then I was doing male Brazilian still , and it was him and I was like listen , if I've been on a date with you , I'm not going to , you know , wax you . It's just no thanks , yeah . And he threatened to write me about Yelp review if I wouldn't take him . Ew .
Speaker 3Okay , manipulation , oh yeah .
Speaker 2Get out of here .
Speaker 3Yeah , and I did it .
Speaker 2You asked him .
Speaker 3Because at that point in my it's a scary threat . It's a super scary threat . Yeah , he was clearly not well Right . So he shows up with some clam chowder . What , yeah , I know , I haven't thought of this in a long time . He showed up with clam chowder . I was like awkward , okay . In a chris�p toolbar and we proceeded to do the wax and he had , he was running . He was late , so you know when already great start it's already gonna be quicker , so I do the service .
Speaker 3And then he proceeds to text me the next day with a Photo saying just FYI , I am a grower , not a shower .
Speaker 2He is unhinged .
Speaker 3Now is it no bad real preview and hundred bucks and some good chowder , so , and a tick pick wait , the chowder was for you , it was for me Interesting . I've been brought a lot of things in my . Was it warm ? It was wow , which I thought was such an interesting light it is , which did that ?
Speaker 2consistency of 1000% . He brought clown chowder to his waxing . Wow , people are wild .
Speaker 3I mean very successful guy , very handsome guy . Yeah , you never know that's good on paper , but yikes , don't be threatening about reviews and stuff .
Speaker 2That's people's livelihood . I got a bad review the other day and I was like I hope they actually listen to the podcast because if you don't , and you just don't like me like that's a separate thing , you know totally yes , the few review , bad reviews I have gotten , it's just like , yeah , she was not very nice , she was not very personable . I was like oh yeah , and it's like how .
Speaker 3I mean , we do have off-days Some days we do we . That's what I don't think people understand sometimes in the , in the industry , is we have a whole life To the and we come into work and we really do do our best , but there's days that , if anything , I'm a little bit distracted , yeah , so it might come off as a loo for not being president interested , which is not the truth .
Speaker 2Right , you have your own shit going on , yeah , and you're there seven days . We who can keep it on at all time . You're a human , yeah , 1000% , 1000% . But the good news is , if a hundred people are not giving you that feedback and only these rare three , okay , with that too , let's talk about misconceptions about you . I feel like there must be just I , I don't know . I just feel like you're just a big , bright personality and I think that I I'm not saying I am too , but I relate and people sometimes want to shit on that . So I wonder what goes on with that , with you ? Yeah .
Speaker 3I get the most misconceptions about me is that I'm not gonna be nice , I'm dumb , you know the big boobs , the blonde hair , the whole package , and that , yeah , I'm gonna be a bitch . And it's so bizarre to me because when people get to know me in real life , they're just like oh my god , you're so much nicer than I thought you would be . And I'm like is that like a compliment ? Like you're like huh , or you're so much funnier , like you're so funny , like yeah , I'm like . I mean , you know , but to me I almost get like a little offended . I get offended but I get a lot of joy from all back . Yeah , I'm just kind of like , yeah , like I . It's kind of like a little game of proving people wrong ?
Speaker 2Yes , yes , but what is that ? I don't want to ? I don't mean to just say it's cuz you're pretty , but I do think there's something to that .
Speaker 3I'm very guarded . I wear a lot of armor , I like to call it kind of keep people at bay .
Speaker 3Okay the other misconception is in my dating life again , the blonde hair , the big boobs . Guys Of course always think I'm easy and just all that . And it's funny , the last day they went on , which was quite a while ago , you know , we had some banter back on fourth , via text or whatever , and I said , hey , I just want to let you know before we meet tomorrow . Like you know , I know I have a social media presence . That's one thing , but in person I'm actually quite shy . Yeah , I'm very reserved and I'm like borderline , like Prudish , okay , and he was like no , you're not . And I was like no , but I'm just telling you when we meet , no , you're not , no , I could just tell you're not . I just know you're not , you're not like that , and I'm literally like no , but I'm just telling you because I don't want it to come off as anything .
Speaker 3I'm just , you know and yeah we met and I was literally like I'm like on dates , so nervous , yeah , yeah . He was like oh , and he was like put off by it . I fucking told you and I'm like I frickin told you and like he's trying to hold my hand and I'm all what . Yeah or trying to get too close and I'm all whoa like , did you listen ? Did you listen ? Because you know ? And at the end of the day it's always like why I really like you and I'm like you , like the idea of me . You don't even know me .
Speaker 3Yeah you like the idea of all of it yeah like , just take some time to get to know me .
Speaker 2Yep , and just slow the fuck down . So was there a second date ?
Speaker 3Yeah , and that was all bad .
Speaker 2So no , so I listen to my gut .
Speaker 3But you know , again , I get in those places of loneliness , yeah , and I get in those places of maybe I'm just so guarded . I gotta like loosen up a little bit .
Speaker 2Good for you for trying it , you know , yeah , and trying it again and making sure at least you didn't spend two years with them and waste all that you know .
Speaker 3but then they're in town , yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , two dates . You can tell you're out of there . Yeah , I frickin love it . Which I was gonna ask are you dating ?
Speaker 3I am not dating . Okay , you're single , I'm single , thriving thriving and , yeah , I would love to meet somebody . Feel like it's time . It's been many years . My picker is , I think , almost close to fixed Yay , so hopefully I'll make some better choices .
Speaker 2Exciting . So by the next time you come on , who knows ?
Speaker 3well , who knows ? I mean , I don't know where people meet anymore .
Speaker 2I don't know either . I don't know how to make friends .
Speaker 3Yeah , well , right , it's hard . Yeah , making friends is almost harder than dating . Yeah , it's actually when you don't have children . I've sent children , but they're grown . Yeah , I don't exactly .
Speaker 2And I'm not in school anymore , which was a nice , beautiful reason to meet people , just things that you're forced to be with people during and then when you don't , you're like , oh , and I was on bumblebee ff for a while and I've met a few people through that , but even that feels a little odd .
Speaker 3Yeah , that's , I think , for me why recovery is so nice , as we again have such that huge Common yeah , it is a really a beautiful thing that should not be underestimated by any means .
Speaker 2Side note your stepdaughter just moved . Is that cool to talk about ?
Speaker 3Yes , she moved to San Francisco and she loves it . She's always wanted to move there . Obviously , there's a lot of backlash from people just saying how gross the city is . And here's my deal with anywhere Like it is what you make it right lives in an absolutely beautiful , safe Neighborhood .
Speaker 3I mean how they got this place her really is literally amazing and you know I try to go down there as often as I can now and I always took her growing up there and you know we pick out very specific activities and again it's what you make it . Yeah , I mean to me like I loved being there last Friday walking in the Castro and Two naked guys just minding their business walking down the street .
Speaker 2I mean it's like if you don't like it , then don't fucking go right , but you don't need to just bitch and tell people not to yeah .
Speaker 3I got a lot of negative . When I posted a picture , I got a lot of negative feedback and it super bummed me out , if I'm honest , that is disappointing . Yeah , because again , live and let live right , and if you don't , like yes you kind of know where to avoid and I mean you don't have to go , you don't have to go . But yeah , so she loves San Francisco , she's happy as a clam and I love what a fun experience to to live there .
Speaker 3Yeah , she's 27 years old and she this is kind of her first place with roommates rather than a boyfriend . Yeah it's just been such a joy to like watch her put her room together . And watch her like , have her first fights with her roommates and how they Navigated . Yeah , everybody deserves that experience . Most people in some way or another have had it , whether you're you know , 18 or 40 or whatever yeah , yeah , yeah , you're right and it doesn't matter .
Speaker 2Go get it good for you . If anything , I see someone going out there and trying something . That's something to be like happy about yeah . I problem .
Speaker 3Yeah , I moved to Santa Barbara when I was in my early 20s and I just again . It's kind of like vicariously living .
Speaker 2Yes , yes , and then we all have our limits . But again , like I go to San Francisco once in a while , do I want to live there ? No , when I hear that your stepdaughter moves , I'm like . You know , I don't .
Speaker 3Right and to me , good for a day in the city . Yeah , you're like , I'm back . I'm back like there's room .
Speaker 2Yeah , you know like we can breathe Boring yeah , you can always access it .
Speaker 3But yeah , but going down there and , like I said , planning a full day of activities and researching the San Francisco bucket list is such a great yeah stuff you can't get anywhere else totally fluffy pancakes . Naked guys on the street . I mean I'm here for all .
Speaker 2I'm here for it .
Speaker 3I'm here for it , but it was interesting , like I mean , I had picked out one brunch place and On Instagram , of course , they make it look just magical , top-to-bottom . Yeah and we drive over there and she points it out as we're driving and I was like whoa , oh , that's it . And I'm all trying to look it up and she's like that's it . I'm like I don't think . Yeah , you know , as soon as you step in the doors it's magical . But I was like , oh , oh , okay good to know , staying in the solution .
Speaker 3It's not like I'm not gonna go there again .
Speaker 2I can't wait to go back , but I would probably over yeah , there you go , and they're working with the space they got . Yeah , yeah , 100% . I love live and let live . I've never heard that , actually , which I live in love . I mean , yeah , just make so much sense you stay in your lane .
Speaker 2Yeah , you'll be fine . How do you approach other people's opinions about you , knowing that people have these misconceptions , things that maybe people don't even say about you ? Like someone told me the other day , if you're worried , people are talking shit about you , they probably are , and what ? What are you gonna do with that ? You're gonna let it bother you , like , what do you do with that information , knowing that you have haters ?
Speaker 3You know , one thing that I have learned in recovery is what other people think about me is none of my business , and you know obviously that's a universal thing and true that I mean it's . I've always kind of just done my own thing . Very dysfunctional family , so I learned very early on how to just kind of be to myself . Yeah , and .
Speaker 3Does it hurt my feelings 1,000% when I hear things about people that maybe I have offended in my room , do I want to reach out to them ? A thousand percent . But also , you know , people have told me those things in confidence so I don't right um . You know , stay in my lane and just each day try to just be a good person .
Speaker 3And you know , I mean I ran into that when I went through that friend breakup and it was in the rooms and I remember going to a meeting and seeing this person there and I just was , I just shut down and I saw my sponsor the next day and she was like she slides over a piece of paper and she's like I want you to do a fourth step right now on her . Oh , which is you know ? You know , a fourth step is kind of the situation and what my part in it .
Speaker 1Okay , you know , and we're gonna do about it and because she goes .
Speaker 3I don't ever want to see you walk into a meeting and look like that again . And it was true because I'm like you know that of all places is my safe place .
Speaker 3Yeah , and we all have a right to be there , and you don't want to feel that there I don't want to feel that there , and so , yeah , that was super magical and that was the whole , her whole thing too , because I was like I'm so worried what she's saying , you know , and she's like , of course she's talking shit . You are friends with her , you guys did that together , you know , and she's like she's gonna talk shit , get over right , like what are you ?
Speaker 2It's like oh , I know .
Speaker 3Embarrassed and oh my god , and you know all that vulnerability I had given to her in our friendship and she was gonna be against me now when . Yeah , but you know , like this woman said to me , she's gonna talk shit next . Can't control that , can't control it , move on .
Speaker 2It's nothing to do with that how about this .
Speaker 3Nobody cares right . Let her talk . Nobody cares right . And you know , people do eventually present themselves for who . They are Right .
Speaker 2So yeah , and when I get information , I always take it with a grain of salt . I'm hearing one side of this story yada , yada , yada .
Speaker 3Well , that's the other thing . Like there's a like thing we call like it's bonding over gossip and it's such a real thing and I really , you know , I consider that to be a character defect . So I really try to work on that and , yeah , not do that .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm sure that's a hard piece too , because you hear so many things , probably about other people that you see and overlap . It's kind of like a therapist . Yeah , and there's a difference between sharing information and gossiping , and I always start to feel weird when we go to that place Because , like , if I don't know I really don't want to talk about , like I don't and what is my motive for telling this person the piece ?
Speaker 3of information I have I know bond and get them to my side , or which is often to talk , you know , and just for something to talk about . Yeah , so it's right .
Speaker 2What's the motivation ? Nothing good , usually not . Usually not for me either . Love that . We know that . No , when I'm , when I'm acting like that I'm , I'm wanting to feel better about something I've .
Speaker 3Yeah and then I feel like an absolute dick . Yeah , it doesn't actually work , you never feel better in my mind always goes to I'm doing , I want to make an amends to this person down the road , and that usually I'm all and does the men's mean literally going to them in person , and I'm sorry , like in person is what I did in person . Yes , oh what can I do to right my ?
Speaker 2wrong ? And what if someone says nothing ?
Speaker 3There's nothing you could ever do one of my last amends was to an ex-boyfriend and I hit him up on my way . I was just leaving Santa Barbara to drive up here . You know , I don't you know a ton of other amends before that to people and everyone's like it's okay , it wasn't that bad . Yeah , yeah , yeah yeah and you know I was expecting the same out of him , of course . And he literally looked at me and he said you are the most deceitful person I've ever met that would fuck me up .
Speaker 3Six hours drive home . I called my sponsor like six hours . She talked to me oh , I'm home and cuz I was , you know , knew her in recovery , and I was like but he did this , this and this and this and she's like it Doesn't matter . This is , the amends are for you , it's not right them , right , right and that's it at the end of the day , to make a living amends to him and not be a deceitful person .
Speaker 2So right really did me a favor in the long run and , if I'm honest , I was a horribly deceitful person to him and to many others but especially to him , and so he's allowed to still have that whatever , but you're allowed to know and not crucify yourself and think that's who I am , because it's not .
Speaker 3It's not who I am anymore . It's who I was and from my experience now I can help other women when they're going through there .
Speaker 2Yeah , you had to to get here .
Speaker 3Yeah , a men's process . I can be like , oh my God . Well this is what happened to me and like it's all over .
Speaker 2Yeah , but I totally get the gut punch of hearing that . Oh , but it's good to know that a men's doesn't always equal like . I'm sorry , I forgive you , that's it . No , it's not that clean and neat every time .
Speaker 3It's not that clean and neat every time at all .
Speaker 2And so how do you ? Yeah , oh my God , this is good shit , this is juicy shit . It's crazy . Switching topics again . I'm just sorry , thinking of all the things You've recently updated your website . It looks amazing .
Speaker 3Well , I recently made a website .
Speaker 2How did you do that ? It's hard .
Speaker 3Alex , my makeup paradigm , my little BFF . He did it for me . He's one of those guys because I'll be like I'll do it tomorrow , I'll do it next week , I don't have time , and he's one of those guys . Come over today at two o'clock . I'm like we're getting on it Fine . So he started it for me . I had talked to my stepdaughter because her degree is in data analytics .
Speaker 2And she has a lot of that and like the SEO stuff , the . Seo stuff .
Speaker 3Yes , yeah , she's so talented but she also very , very busy and so he got it started for me and did a lot of the aesthetic stuff . And then she kind of came in and did all the back end stuff and I kept it really simple . I never really felt a need for a website because I am a one man show . My business is really just word of mouth Yelp , google reviews now but it's interesting to see how many hits I do get on it . I kept it really simple . Whether it helped my business or not , I don't know .
Speaker 2It looks detailed to me and beautiful .
Speaker 3Thank you , and then it was I wanted to put your podcast . Thank , you .
Speaker 2I was wanting to say thank you for the shout out .
Speaker 3Yes , because again the feedback I got was like oh my God , like I didn't know this or I didn't know that , or now I feel totally comfortable coming in to get waxed . Now I actually want to get waxed , like I got a lot of really good and it really does describe kind of the website , and that as well , like who I am as a person Totally Just gives you a little insight because you are coming in for such an intimate service .
Speaker 2Yeah For any service . If I saw on their website they've had a podcast , I would listen and decide if I wanted to go see them . Right , it's such a unique branding piece .
Speaker 3It was really helpful to have on there . So I'm really grateful that you know I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason . Yeah , so to me it was almost like that got me to that next place .
Speaker 2Well , I'm grateful that you put it on there because someone sent it to me first and was like , have you seen this ? And I was like , no , I'm obsessed , like whoa . It's just so cool , thank you , but also so excited for you to like just continue to be out there , just well to like be in this century like I'm such a dinosaur . You're way ahead of me , like you're not dinosaur in it at all to me . If you're a T-Rex , I want to be one too .
Speaker 3I'm telling you well , my daughter's like , learning new things keeps you young .
Speaker 2That's what they say , and I was like , oh my God okay , you're like fine , which brings me to are you going to start a podcast ? Because I want to listen .
Speaker 3So , alex and I he kind of came to me with the idea a few months ago and we're really excited too . It's just a matter of timing because he's had a lot of stuff going on and so , once he settled , what we want to do is we want to do something along the lines of Sonoma County famous , you know , have people on that are , you know , entrepreneurs and people in the industry , people of all industries , small business owners that are Sonoma County famous . That , like we either know or we want to get to know , and just really promote and uplift other businesses Like people have done for us .
Speaker 3Like my word of mouth I mean a lot of it is from other estheticians in town and beauty people in town .
Speaker 2Yeah , the industry is tight .
Speaker 3The industry is really tight and also , like my personal trainer has sent me people , or I'd meet people at Body Rock , you know so we just really want to give people in our community a platform to come on and promote their business , because you know there's enough business for everybody .
Speaker 2There is .
Speaker 3And it was interesting because I was telling someone last night about it and they're just like , well , you know , most podcasts that are successful , they talk about controversial stuff . And I was like , well , I don't want that because I don't talk about controversial things with anyone but a close knit group of friends .
Speaker 3I don't bring it into my room at work , because the world is insanely divided and controversial right now especially , you know , and I was talking to Alex this morning about it , you know , and I was like , hey , what we're trying to do is like be positive and uplift people , like do people want to hear that ?
Speaker 2Yeah , they do . I hope so . There's a lot of podcasts that talk about , I think , current events which are controversial , but you don't need to do that . I listened to at least 10 podcasts a week and none of them .
Speaker 3She was like people either listen to controversial or murder podcasts and I'm like why are we all about the murder podcast and I myself , I don't listen to any . Okay , I listen to funny . Yeah , See , I'm a music person Like . I always have music 24 seven . Like that's my jam and I should listen to more . But like I listened to ours again last night before I went to bed , just kind of like okay , refresh , yeah refresh , but there's so room for that and I want you to know that .
Speaker 2And what is doing well mean if you guys are sharing what you want to share . That's already . That's it .
Speaker 3Yeah , and I mean , all I want out of it is I just want to help other businesses and that's all , like there's nothing really beneficial for me in it . And you know , alex and I are like you know , one week we'll just be he and I , and then the next week we'll have someone , because he and I have this Better . I mean we're two completely different people's age groups like backgrounds like everything . But there's something so special about our relationship that sometimes we're mother and son , sometimes we're brother and sister , sometimes we're best friends .
Speaker 2We can sit there and talk about anything all the time , whenever You're already off to a great start having a course that you can do that with , because the content just comes right , just comes . But yeah , there is such a need for that . I think people would be all about that . I hope so .
Speaker 3Yeah and again success to me is of one person listened , then you're going to hit it . Yeah , whenever I go and out and do an event and try to network , if I get one client from it out of a thousand clients I've said yes , you don't need to be .
Speaker 2what other podcasts are doing you know .
Speaker 3Yeah , so we'll see . So we'll see . So Nova County famous , he wants to , you know , go all out to everything you know . And I'm more of like , ok , wait , let's just start small , with just a few little things . Yeah , so it's interesting , I've been such a sole proprietor for so long and made all the decisions that I was like , oh like he and I are very opposite , you know . He's like go big or go home and I'm like , ok , let's just slow and steady . So I'm hoping that it'll like come together .
Speaker 2It will , and I'm so rooting for you and I'm so excited and I will be listening and I hope all you cherries will too . Me and my bush need to come see you . Yes , yes .
Speaker 3That's OK , that happens sometimes . Yeah , I have people that , yeah , yeah , stop they go shave , it gets cut out of the budget . So a lot of people go laser and then come back after lasering . So , yeah , and everybody's always welcome back .
Speaker 2I appreciate that you're not like mad at me God , I'm not . No , my gosh , you have better shit to do than worry about it , but it's still nice to know that you can . You have to breathe .
Speaker 3I understand , yeah , and I understand it like I . It's just it's personal preference . Yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , and just life . Random things happen , you know , it's just life . Yeah , so you've accomplished so much . What's next ? Any future goals ?
Speaker 3We have the podcast , the podcast , and the other thing I would like to transition to a little bit is teaching waxing .
Speaker 3Actually , that's kind of probably going to be the next phase of my life because I've been bent over for 25 years and my body is getting tired .
Speaker 3I'll always wax because I love it , but I would really like to get into teaching and kind of traveling around and teaching my craft , but I just don't have at this point the time to put into it , because I want to give it 100% , because it really is a lot of you know , it's one thing to teach someone how to wax , but it's also the whole business piece of it too , and kind of I want to like touch on stuff like social media and stuff that they don't teach you in school .
Speaker 3Yes , you know , because social media is such a big part of it and I love social media for the most part , like it's really worked in my business's favor and my whole take on social media personally , for the platforms that I use , is to be fun , silly , fun , funny , light , because when I open up social media it's just like oh , oh , oh . I mean I just it's just it's sad or it's mad , or it's this or it's that and I just want people to have a place that they can come . And it's funny because I'll run into people in the community that aren't clients and they'll be like , oh my God , I you know , if I'm having a bad day I go right to your page to see what you've posted . And I went through some a little , a little bump in the road a couple weeks ago for a little bit with a family member and just had some other stuff going and I wasn't posting very much because I just I didn't have it in me . Yeah , not priority .
Speaker 3And yeah , people were reaching out like what's going on ? Something's wrong , Are you okay ?
Speaker 2Which was really nice too .
Speaker 3But it was for the first time in a very long time , because social media does take a lot of time and a lot of thought .
Speaker 2Thank you for saying that You're not just throwing shit up .
Speaker 3No , what makes mine different , I think too , is I really do combine my personal life with my work life , Because I and this is all trial and error over the years Like it really does make me relatable . Like I'm a stepmom , I'm , you know , an alcoholic in recovery , I'm a waxer , I'm a , you know , I was my dad's caretaker . Like you know where many hats that you know at least you know you can relate to one of my hats , Right , yeah , it makes me more real and I don't always put all the good stuff up when I'm having a bad day . We can talk about that too . But it really has been because somebody asked me to help them with theirs the other day and I was just like I don't know , because mine , to me , is very unique , Just being you .
Speaker 3Because , most people have . Yeah , you know , professional and personal Uh-huh Same . I don't either Right and to me I just found combining just just works best for me and my business . Yeah , so I can be obnoxious and sometimes I put up inappropriate stuff and it's not for everybody .
Speaker 2Right , but all you can do is be you and post the shit you want , which is what you're supposed to do with your platform . Right , yeah , but I love how you approach it Fun , fun , fun , fun . It should be fun , and if it's not , why are we doing ?
Speaker 3it Right .
Speaker 2Yeah , do you boost posts , or do you not ?
Speaker 3I don't even know what that means .
Speaker 2So I'm going to say no , it's literally paying , so that more people see I've tried that and I've done like a $5 one . Nothing happens . So I'm not going to keep doing it , but it's just interesting .
Speaker 3So my stepdaughter , who does all the website stuff , she explained it to me . She's like you're a micro influencer .
Speaker 2So you are a micro influencer . I'm like what is ?
Speaker 3that and she's just like . Yeah , she's like , I'm always promoting businesses all the time , mostly local , and yeah , I do that just again to get them out there for no , I'm not getting any kind of freaking free appetizer or dessert or meal which I should .
Speaker 2You should Just kidding , you should .
Speaker 3But yeah , I don't get anything in return . I'm truly doing it out of the kindness of my heart and , in return , clients and people call me all the time . I have my anniversary tonight . Where should I go to dinner ? I'm taking my daughter to the city . Where should I go ?
Speaker 2My God , when you do your podcast , you should have Sonoma County sponsors . Yes , that would be perfect . I like that . I like that too , hey , yeah , and then it all goes back . Yeah , beautiful .
Speaker 3See , I knew I could learn a lot from you .
Speaker 2I am here we just want to have a little fun . Yeah , I'm so excited about it . Okay , so teaching and podcasting . Teaching and podcasting Love that .
Speaker 3Yeah , that's kind of . Yeah , that's kind of it . It's a lot . Because again , I think people look at like the beauty industry is , oh , you're just coloring hair or just you're pulling out hair , but it's , I mean , that is again 10% of what we do .
Speaker 2Right . It's like no , no , no , You're doing literature , they're everything , yeah .
Speaker 3It's like we have the goodie bags .
Speaker 2She brought me a goodie bag without even a wax .
Speaker 3So , like you know , ordering pens , ordering lip bombs , going to smart and final for the candy or responding to everybody responding to everyone , like it never really stops . And it's funny when people come to me wanting to start up in business I'm like , oh , I don't know . Good luck , my field is extremely competitive .
Speaker 2Oh yeah .
Speaker 3And yeah , it's a lot of work , but it's also very rewarding and I am truly blessed .
Speaker 2Yeah , happy to be here To do what I do every day .
Speaker 3I love going to work every day .
Speaker 2I can't wait . Yeah , I think for someone like me , it's like you almost feel jealous , like I want that . But you're just here trying to do your best , like everyone else .
Speaker 3Oh , absolutely , and I struggle , and I am really really incredibly hard on myself . One of the questions was you know , what do you do at the end of your day , I'm like a lot of self-loathing , Ain't that the tea ? So you ? Know , it's not all rainbows and butterflies .
Speaker 2When you're down , what's your go-to Like ? Do you have ? What are your self-care things ? Food ?
Speaker 3okay , food , you know I mean I'm terrible with self-care . Like you know , everyone's in a blue moon Like I'll go get a facial , I'll go get a massage , Working out every day seems like self-care . Yeah , it truly is . Working out is really . Yes , it really is . But if I'm having a heart , you know what ? Sometimes I just try to sit in those feelings and really feel it , and then don't stay too long , but move on . And yeah , I'm definitely in a really rough patch right now , like I was saying .
Speaker 2Yeah , go through some stuff .
Speaker 3Yeah , it's really hard and it's incredibly distracting and there's a lot of stuff coming up and with that for me comes a lot of acting out , and so I just I try to be kind to myself . Yeah , oh , that's so hard , which is so hard , which is so weird , because I'm really kind to other people and generous and thoughtful with other people and I'm like why can't I give that to myself ?
Speaker 2Because I know I can do it Literally . Why yeah , hello , it's true . So , just try to be kind . Which is beautiful , which circles us back to the beginning , because you were saying right now you're taking some sort of a break Not a break , but you're just slowing down a little bit , a little teeny bit , which and it wasn't even on purpose , it just needed .
Speaker 3I hit a wall for the first time in a really long time and yeah , it's been interesting . I don't like it . It's certainly not comfortable . Yeah , this is not a comfy , I want an exact time and date it will be over and unfortunately I am powerless . Life doesn't work that way , but I'm hopeful .
Speaker 2So you're in it right now .
Speaker 3I'm in it right now , yeah , and you're just doing your best In it and I'm really just trying to do my best . And it was really interesting because when it all began , that was about six weeks ago , a client sent me a message after I had seen her and she was just like I love coming to see you like . You're such a ray of sunshine , you're always in such a great mood , you're always so positive . And I really struggle with that at the end of the day , because I was raised very much . You go to work and you put your game face on and I felt like a fraud .
Speaker 3Yeah , like imposter , syndrome I felt like a total fraud at the end of the day because I am so wrecked .
Speaker 2I feel good .
Speaker 3Yeah that none of that was real . But also , I mean , there have been times that I have not been able to keep it together and I have cried in front of my clients and I have unloaded on some of my clients .
Speaker 3It's very rare , very rare , but it does happen and it's always received well . But yeah , it's funny because a coworker of mine is also going through something and I just asked her how she was doing yesterday and she's like I just don't want to be here , I don't think I can be here , I don't think I can have to work .
Speaker 3I'm so sad my heart isn't in it and I'm like , wait , is that an option ? Yeah , because that seems healthier to me . But it just reminded me the gamut of extremes , which again is an alcoholic , black and white , all or nothing . I mean we're totally faking it or I'm totally falling apart .
Speaker 2Yeah , where's the happy medium Right ? Where am I in all that ?
Speaker 3Where am I and where's the lesson in all this , and what am I being shown through all this ?
Speaker 2What am I learning from this ? What am I ?
Speaker 3learning from this . And I know there's something and I might not ever find out , or I might find out tomorrow or in a week but , for right now I'm just trying to trudge through it and navigate through things and stay positive , stay in the solution , Good for you .
Speaker 2You're just like it's uncomfy .
Speaker 3Fuck yeah , I'm not loving it , but we're here . Alcoholics do not , or not a big fan of feelings , yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , I feel like most people are .
Speaker 3OK good .
Speaker 2Well , maybe it's a universal thing , but they don't realize that that's what's happening and that's your awareness is like Some days . It's huge , it's really important and I think that helps people get through . What do you daydream about ?
Speaker 3What's the difference between daydreaming and fantasy ? Oh Right , because I have a lot of unhealthy fantasizing , because fantasizing was my first addiction as a child . Oh , you know , I would fantasize I had different parents , in a different situation , in a different house , in different school and different .
Speaker 3I spent a lot of my childhood fantasizing as my parents were not present , emotionally and mentally so , and fantasize about that prince on the white horse still waiting , sexy you know where someone to come save me , like that's fantasy , yes , so I'm like you know fantasy daydream , like I did what I daydream about , because I think of that as a more whimsical , you know , honestly , at this point in my life it's a great question Falling in love . Ok , that's what I daydream about is falling in love , and in a healthy way , for the first time ever .
Speaker 2OK , obsessed with that . What a fun thing to .
Speaker 3That's what I focused on the last several years of being single is what am I bringing to the table ? Like I always went in and made my happiness their job Turns out it's my job . It's an inside job .
Speaker 2Damn folks who knew it seems unfair . It is bullshit .
Speaker 3It's much more fun the other way Most of the time probably not for that 100% , but also what a sexy daydream . Yeah , I mean he's got to be out there , it's all , yeah , all in time . I mean , I just have to open up my little tiny heart , yeah , yeah , and be open to it .
Speaker 2But it also makes sense why you would have your guard up or why you have your armor , and I think you have to have it in your job to some level . You can't just let everybody in on you all day , or else you're just going to . That's too much , it's too much . So , yeah , it's an honor to get to be in your inner circle . It sounds like anything you need less of in your life .
Speaker 3Probably , if I was honest , like probably less miscommunication . Ok , yeah , I feel like in the day and age of texting , so much is miscommunicated with tone or the way it comes across and perspective , and so I do struggle with that a little bit .
Speaker 2So yeah , miscommunication . Are you the type of person where , if you are getting in conflict over text , you prefer if you just start calling yes , ok , yes , I'm not going to text fight with you .
Speaker 3No , because it's not going to go anywhere . It's going to go in circles and it never does .
Speaker 2Just wait and then call me Right , yeah .
Speaker 3I need to process stuff first and then let's talk it out , Because on text again there's just so much room for error .
Speaker 2So much and I need to hear their voice .
Speaker 3I miss understanding the tone .
Speaker 2Yeah , like I need to . Yeah , I'm leaving Nice . You can tell when someone's kind of like putting their tone .
Speaker 3It's not my strong suit , so I have to watch that .
Speaker 2Ain't that the motherfucking truth ?
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , yeah , I can come across very condescending and again , character defect .
Speaker 2Again your awareness . That's all you can have .
Speaker 3That's all I can do , and work on it each day .
Speaker 2Anything you need more of in your life Time .
Speaker 3I need more time . Yeah , the days are too short .
Speaker 2They are so short . Imagine they fly by for you .
Speaker 3They fly by and time really is flying by , and especially I feel like , since the pandemic , like life , is so insanely fast , again like back to where it would be , but even a little faster .
Speaker 2I know and I'm like how are ?
Speaker 3we already in September , like I just feel like it was , and how is summer ? Almost maybe over yeah . Like what is how and why You're so right .
Speaker 2We went from literally stopping everything to now we're hauling ass , hauling ass , and it's too much . It is too much .
Speaker 3It's really overwhelming and the world just feels like it's moving so fast and we're three years out from COVID , like what it's crazy .
Speaker 2Wow , you're so right . Ok , so everybody , slow down , slow down , let's just all do it and then it'll be fine .
Speaker 3Stay present . That's the hardest thing is just to stay present and enjoy . Enjoy your days .
Speaker 2We don't have them forever , we just don't . Everyone says if I die it's not , if it's when , when it's coming , whether you want it or not . Sorry to be dark , anything that bug you lately . I think it's really pissing you off the fact that you have to tip when you pay for a $2 sticker Anything . I don't do that . Come on , I don't do that . Well , they'll put it right in front of you and say do you want to tip ? Yeah , I'm like no , I don't .
Speaker 2It's so hard I feel like I don't , but I'm a dick . It was $2 . No .
Speaker 3I mean , it's not like I don't beat myself up after , but certain things . I'm just like no , what are you asking me ? This was non-tippable . Once upon a time , like , and again I'm in the tipping industry , so I'm very generous when I go out to eat , when I'm having services of anything .
Speaker 2Service Very , very , very generous .
Speaker 3but if you were , I'm paying to park in a lot and you want to tip that's . It's probably not going to happen 100% , but I don't know . Maybe you'll catch me on a good day . But they're funny things that bug me more , so at work , Like when you're getting your wax and I'm telling you to pull your skin up . You have to make the skin really taut and I'm literally like pull the skin up and they'll just lay their hands there and I'm like love the manicure , when do you go ? But pull it up , oh what .
Speaker 3I said Pull it up .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's really funny . There's always something you can pull up .
Speaker 3Pull . Yeah , there's always something and it's just like that is probably what I just get frustrated at .
Speaker 2Did you just say it again or how did they get it yeah ?
Speaker 3I'm like pull it up and then I try not to change my tone , but sometimes I'm just , and sometimes I'm just all fuck it , I'll fucking get three hands Somehow . I'll use my foot Like we're going to make this work . And if they don't pull up , why is that harder for you ? I need the areas taut because you have so much elasticity in your skin . If we're not both holding , the skin will literally ripple like that , and then you'll bruise , which you know not worth the scenario .
Speaker 2It's for you , sis , it's for you .
Speaker 3Yeah , it's for you . And the other thing is at the end , after I do , your booty and your legs are up like this , and then I turn around to get a couple , usually my tweezers and so I got my back .
Speaker 3I have my back to you and they'll be like do every like nine out of 10 , do I keep my legs up ? And I'm like , yes , all of a sudden I hear them go down and touch the paper and I'm like what the fuck ? And they're oh yeah , you said legs up . I'm like , yes , it's little things like that , they don't pop me , but they're just kind of .
Speaker 2I'm just Not following instructions Not following instructions .
Speaker 3You know that usually show my cranky level on the meter how I'm doing .
Speaker 2Usually it's my day Totally , which is why I don't work too late into the day , because I get cranky , you can sense it .
Speaker 3What bugs me is the fucking heat we're having right now . Yes , I'm in menopause .
Speaker 2Do you have AC in your booty ?
Speaker 3We do have AC , but my room does not get it unless my door is open .
Speaker 2And you can't have your door open . I can't have my door open .
Speaker 3I mean , even with the remodel , they don't have it fluid . Well , their side was remodeled .
Speaker 2Oh OK , got it , got it , got it . Dang , what a bummer . Those are great things that bug Love that Appreciate that . That's a waxer . What about a last minute cancellation ? Is that a thing that bug ?
Speaker 3Well , I officially have a cancellation policy . Oh , you do so weird , Tell the folks so weird . So last minute full charge . And it's only happened once and somebody , and they actually they venmowed me the money immediately . And it was like it was truly magical , because what it really does is I don't have a resentment , then , and their conscious is clear and we're fucking good , we're both clear . Because otherwise , when that was going on and you'd show up , then I'd be freaking annoyed at you 1,000% .
Speaker 3I struggle with the resentment after , even if I didn't show it .
Speaker 2Uh-huh , I'd be all . It's still there . It's building Rest on the line , but now we've cleared it .
Speaker 3But now we've cleared it and I mean , have I let it slide with a couple regular regulars ? Yes , I'm codependent , we all know that and it's your choice .
Speaker 2I work for a therapist . She has a cancellation policy . There will be some times where she's like you know what , Not with this client , and it's like I don't have any questions about that , Got it .
Speaker 3Right , yeah , I mean we do . That is one of the few good things about self-employment . You know that's a pro . We do have a little discretion , but you know , I mean it's a slippery slope , because it happens once , it's going to happen again and again and then we're back to square one . It's taken me 25 years to implement this , so I really need to stick to my boundary it's tough , it's not easy .
Speaker 2I hate it , especially when you have these relationships and it's not been a thing Like I totally get People think they're very personal and people think they're terminally unique and people think , like you know , people think that's funny yeah .
Speaker 3So it's not easy people , so please just follow the rules .
Speaker 2You usually know before 24 hours that we're going to make your appointment , like you do we do you get one period pass ? One period pass , yes , emergencies come up . But even then , if an emergency comes up , happy to pay , yet Like yeah , that's just what happened .
Speaker 3That's what happened . So , and again , it just seems to work for both parties , and I'm super stoked .
Speaker 2Love it . Good for you . So 24 hours is your policy 24 hours is my policy . And who did you kiss today ?
Speaker 3Yes , nobody , nobody today Do you have any single like what you're doing .
Speaker 2What about Foxy ?
Speaker 3Not even Foxy . She's not a kissable dog .
Speaker 2She's not into it , she doesn't like to snuggle and cuddle , no , no .
Speaker 3In public she's all over me like a cheap suit , and as soon as we get home she is opposite end of the couch opposite end of the bed no .
Speaker 2OK .
Speaker 3Yeah , it doesn't want . No , so nobody .
Speaker 2Good to know she's an independent queen , the day is young . The day is young .
Speaker 3I don't know where I might end up today .
Speaker 2Ok Well , if you see Mary today , give me a little , give her a smoocher . Are you down ? I'm down . Ok yeah , she's down , I'm down , I mean I freaking love it . Oh my god , I'm obsessed . I feel like the love of your life is equally as cool as you sitting somewhere being cool as shit . Yeah , and you're like where ? Yeah , hey , everyone , it's Steve , let's connect .
Speaker 3Yeah , I was sniffing around someone last weekend , but by question three I was like no , he's out .
Speaker 2You already know . Yeah , it's very clear .
Speaker 3At this point in the game I'm 52 . You just know yeah . You don't need to waste your time I don't need to waste my time , don't need to waste your time . Yeah , yeah , move along .
Speaker 2Yeah , he's out there , he's out there . Do you have anything ? I didn't ask or touch on that you would like to add .
Speaker 3I don't think so , but I did bring you a goodie bag ?
Speaker 2No , thank you . This is a sweet , unique thing that Mary does .
Speaker 3Well , and let me tell you , there is one newer thing in here . So , you always get your lip balm , lip balm . But I had a couple clients , one in particular , and she sent me a picture of all of the lip like six lip balms on her vanity in the bathroom and all of the pink was peeled off and she's like my husband loves your lip balm .
Speaker 2I was just going to say my husband uses it and for the pink , so I got a .
Speaker 3You're welcome in black for the gentlemen that aren't into the pink , Although the guys that love their pink and wear it loud and proud , whether it be my pen or the lip balm , those just make my day and I have to do a quick shout out because this is a little it's not been happening as much . When you get your gift bag , if you post it and tag me , you have no idea how much that helps my business . Again . Started it during COVID . Yes , what it does for me is you putting it up there , let's all your Instagram friends see it . And again , if I get one person , one new follow from that , that is a win . It's a big deal .
Speaker 3It's a big deal , and so it's my gift to you , but you doing that really , really truly helps my small business .
Speaker 2I wanted to tell you . Every night , my husband asks for the chopstick . The chopstick is what he calls it .
Speaker 3It's vegan and Paraben free , so I was telling people if your kids or dogs get a hold of it .
Speaker 2It is safe , smells delicious . I'm like , ooh , it's a different flavor every month Fun to kiss Watermelon coconut . I know Well , maybe that's what I'm missing out on . He's going to get such a kick out of this . This is hilarious because now you can take it to the fire station We'll get . I'm going to ask him for a pick on an engine . We need one .
Speaker 3We love that or a single fireman , oh we love that too .
Speaker 2He works with all ages .
Speaker 3So listen , I like them old . What are you looking for ? Okay ?
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3I want somebody funny , nice , emotionally available . Looks aren't really my jam , so I like a little meaty Okay .
Speaker 2Okay , I'm pretty easy no-transcript . Here she is . But if you're not cool , don't come leave you in your red flags . Yeah and beige . I've heard the base flag . It's a beige flag , is something that's not quite stop , but it's . It's annoying . So , like my husband's is that he needs a good job after everything he does like it's not a red flag , but it's pretty fucking annoying . Yeah , but every , every , sometimes , I'm like you just did the thing and we don't need to talk about it , you know .
Speaker 3So beige flags are kind of funny people like that . Yeah yeah , that's again . It's an inside job . We need to tell ourselves right .
Speaker 2Anyway , good job being on this pod . Thank you for coming . It's always a treat to have you and thank you for being patient with me as I got my shit together .
Speaker 3Um , I'm so excited , like .
Speaker 2I'm so excited for yours .
Speaker 3Like where's , you know ?
Speaker 2yeah , I know , I know , and we'll have more . We'll have more if you'll come back . I'll always have you . Please , please , please , don't forget about me when you're Sonoma County famous you already are and let's send to the microphone at the same time . Say bye . I Was like one , two , three , all right . Isn't there just something about Mary ? I know , I know , I know . Thank you again to her for coming on .
Speaker 2Part two was so juicy , so creamy . Don't know why I said that . Okay , also , how about those new segment songs ? Can we talk about ? It ? Wanted them to be the same , but different . You know what I mean . And they just got the Upgrade , the spice , the Zazz that they needed . I don't know if Zazz is word , pizzazz is what I mean . So , without further ado , let's go on and get on to your first cup of D E E in a long , long time .
Speaker 2Oh , follow my podcast wherever you listen to him Apple podcast , google podcast , overcast , spotify . I'm everywhere , folks , I'm freaking everywhere . Like and follow me on Facebook , instagram , tic-tac in YouTube . That's where I'm at , that's where I'll be . Please , please , please , please , rate and leave me a review on Facebook , apple podcast and or Spotify . If you've already left one , do it again , update it . Why the hell not ? It excites me in a way that I can't quite figure out how to put into words and it also helps other folks find my show . So it's free , it's easy , it's short and we all like a short , short task on a short , short to-do list . And this is that , so really Appreciate you . If you need help on how to do that , you can just quickly go to Apple podcast . Open it right up , go to your library , tap shows , scroll down to the hey , everyone , it's tiff . It's gonna open her right up . You're gonna scroll down past the first like seven episodes that will show you . Then you'll see a cute little picture me followed by a section to rate and review . Rate means tapping the stars . That takes literally seconds . Review means typing something out Also takes seconds , but that's how you do it . On Spotify you can't leave a written review , but you can rate . So you open that app up , go to your library , tap hey , everyone , it's tiff . Open her up right under the logo picture at the very top to the bottom left . You're gonna see here I have a 4.8 rating . Help me get back to five . If you have any questions , I'm happy to show you . Join my email list by clicking the link on my website or reaching out to me directly behind the scene Stuff that you don't want to miss .
Speaker 2Share this show with your friends , just like Mary was talking about with the goodie bag . Same thing . Share this show with your friends . Post it to your story so all your people see it . They might not even know this exists . Let's tell them about it . The more you share , the more we get cherries . There's nothing better than a plethora of cherries . You know you always need more . So , yeah , if this show makes you feel good , share that with someone else . Maybe they could too .
Speaker 2Merch I know I said I was gonna do a merch drop over the break . I sure didn't , didn't I ? Nope , but I did start to open an Etsy shop , which is how I'm going to be doing merch , moving forward , I think . So stay tuned on that . I did create a new bucket hat before the break and I've worn it during and talked about it , but I've never officially put it out there as for sale . It will be on my Etsy and so more to come , but I've realized I don't want to do merch drops .
Speaker 2I can't . I have what I have . Hit me up if you want it down if you don't submit your questions for the next get to know Me episode . It's coming up , it'll be episode five of season five , so submit it in voicemail form , voice note form , text message form . Whenever you think of it , send it to me . I will be in charge of saving it , you don't even worry about that . Just please send me your questions . And finally , please subscribe to my show by becoming a Merrimericino , a yo , dj selfish . Why don't you drop that beat ? And if you don't know why I'm called DJ selfish in my real life , it's because whenever I have the ox cord , I don't give a fuck what anyone else wants to listen to . Okay , let's go . They don't .
Speaker 2On a side note , you'll notice that I didn't touch cup of tea , maraschino wings because those things didn't need to be touched . Okay , I only updated the segments that I felt needed a refresh . So they will continue to pop up and surprise you throughout the season , but some will stay the same . Also , I have to give Beat Credit before we go to the new things that Bug Beat and the new who Did you Kiss Today Beat . They're both actually created by Easy Music . First track was titled Pure Afro Beat , wiz Kid and second title was called Caroba Afro Beat . So , thank you , easy Music . Become a Maraschino today . The link to join is on my website , in the show notes or in the email . But it's kind of just like tipping your waiter , but literally once a month saying , hey , you know what ? Thanks , thanks for the hard work and time it took to take care of me . This that you know . If you're feeling so inclined , there is no judgment . You can do it for a month and never again . You can do it ongoing .
Speaker 2Just know I really , really appreciate you and this is a really cool way to become kind of an OG supporter of the show before we take the bug off , because you know that's happening right and the little perk of being a Maraschino that I'm not sure if I've said is I reach out to you with questions about the show , things I should do . Where do I put my neon sign ? Should I put an Ivy wall behind it ? What do you guys think of this new way I'm doing clips ? What should I cut here or there ? So you're really in my inner circle of thinking for the show and during the break I'm in communication with you . It's special , it is its own niche group , but regardless , I love you all and I hope you enjoyed the first episode back . My goodness , it feels good to be on the mic . How'd you like the new clips ? Aren't we just moving ? We're grooving , it's fire . Okay , I love you . Have a good week . War to Come Ah , worth the wait .
